Suddenly Single: No Perfect World

The following is from another MSN article that offers advice on how to cope after divorce. I hope I’m not a misogynist, but I can’t help feeling resentful as I read these articles that really serve as nothing but advice for women while simultaneously spreading what I perceive as hatred of men

Here it is, with link:

Suddenly single? Ask Dr. Gilda - MSN Dating & Personals

On the one hand, I feel empathy for this woman. It’s not easy going through a divorce, let alone raising a kid by yourself. But, it’s obvious to me she’s using these guys to help her with her kid. Why else would you stay with a guy who is trying to control you? And while I don’t know the circumstances, and maybe should withhold judgment, I’m suspicious of a single mother, just as I am of a single father, who gets married to a new partner right after the birth of a child.
To me it begs the question, as a woman, does she want equality, or does she just want more control over the men she relies on to support her?

What really got me upset off the bat is the second sentence. It upsets me on two counts. Again, I don’t know the circumstances, so I’m making a couple of assumptions, and could wrong because of them.
But…the father has nothing to do with their kid? Is this by choice? If so, what the hell is the matter with him? Yes, he pays his child support, and I’ll get to that in a moment, but so do I, and I have my son four days a week. Time is the most important thing you can give your kids.

There’s an old saying I like: Nobody that I know ever said at the end, “Gee, I spent too much time with my kids when they were growing up.”

How sad for both her kid and for the father. Shame on him for not being involved, but it’s going to be his loss in the end. I’m sure of it.
Second, and maybe I’m a troglodyte here, but she’ll stay with a control freak who dictates who her kid can see, but she’ll also have a kid with a guy who obviously wanted nothing to do with the child? Would this be different if she couldn’t force him to pay for the kid?
Yes, that’s cynical, but I doubt it’s wrong. It seems to me something is amiss here: if I’m involved with a woman, or even sleep with her once, and she gets pregnant, it’s all up to her. If I want the child, but she doesn’t, she can have an abortion. Even if I agree to raise the child myself, pay for all bills during her pregnancy, and then care for and pay for the child, even if I offer to pay her for her pregnancy, I cannot. Okay.
But, if the shoe is on the other foot, as it was here, I cannot forgo the responsibility.
A clear contradiction in standards.
I understand why that is…we already have too many men who refuse to take responsibility for their children in this country. It’s shameful, and these men do need to be held accountable for the children they bring into the world. I also understand I will never have to go through pregnancy or know what it’s like. It’s just the way it is.

But, there’s an essential unfairness to men like me.
I have my son four days a week. I pay child support and his health insurance. I love him more than life, and her biggest criticism of me seems to be that I am too maternal.
There’s more, too. He had cancer. I went too all of his appointments. He needs periodic MRIs to make sure it’s still in remission. I take him to virtually all of them.
Recently she complained about this, and rescheduled the latest one to Friday, one of her days with him. I work third shift sometimes, and am supposed to sleep during the day on Friday. I decided to forego sleep and go to his MRI.
The hospital was running late, however, and against my wishes, she chose to reschedule. I regret not insisting on having it done then, but I’m tired of arguing and I was going on no sleep.
She became agitated when told they were running late. The oncologist even told her, “It’s not always going to be convenient.” Well, it turns out she had an appointment in a town an hour and a half away at a time she couldn’t have made even if things had gone according to schedule.
It further turns out that she’s moving again. She’s moving for the fourth time in under a year, each time living with a man, this time moving back in with her old boyfriend, who doesn’t even know she was living with another man she hardly knew for the past few months.
I fear this move. I like the old boyfriend around my son better than the current one. But, she originally told me she left him because of concerns about his son, who is older, being “rough”, with our son. She also came within a hair’s breadth of moving to South Carolina with him last year.
I think I’m right to have concerns. Constantly moving is not a stable life for our son.
I also think I sacrifice far more when it comes to our son. Despite this, I hesitate to fight for custody. I’m likely to lose, in which case, I risk seeing him less than my current four days a week.

Something is wrong with this picture. If our society really had equality and were really interested in the future of children, I would have custody.